Like Cigarettes But Better
by donttellmyfriendsiwritesmut
Summary: This is where i want to tell you i moved away in surprise and made this a faded memory of that-one-time-the-Colonel-kissed-me-and-we-dont-ta lk-about-it, but i cannot do that without lying horribly. Because that, is no where near what it became.


I had had enough bufriedos to fill a person for an entire week before i re-entered the dorm with a few for the Colonel and a few for the fridge. Alaska was god knows where and Colonel has been over Sara for awhile now. However, not the 'over' that involves moving on, but the 'over' that involves accepting that its done and accepting the sexual frustration that accompanies the end of a relationship.  
Either way, he was on what was left of the couch, his ambrosia on the COFFEE TABLE. he had a cigarette, too, to which upon seeing i checked the door area. Sure enough, I had upset the towel that had been jammed there. Kicking the discarded towel back under the door, i slumped onto the couch next to a half-drunk Chip. He smiled toothily and got up, taking his ambrosia and the extra bufriedos to the mini fridge and clunking back over. He let himself fall back onto the couch haphazardly, landing him a little closer than usual.

"flip on the thingy lets play Decapitation."

"K"

And so we did, we played video games on mute for hours, because Alaska wast here to lecture us about it. And each hour, something new would happen. On the second hour, for instance, the Colonel scooted just a smidge closer. On the fourth hour, he leaned onto me while pulling off some crazy stunt in the game and never fully leaned back. At hour five, he ran his "sweaty" hand down my thigh. It was as if he was testing me, seeing how long i would go before i said something, or if i'd say anything at all.

At hour six, when it was dark enough that everyone who was not experiencing or going to experience something at least mildly important was asleep, he paused the game.  
"What gives?" i asked, releasing the controller with one hand to lift it up in complaint.

"i'm not drunk anymore." the Colonel said, punctuating it with a particularly, for lack of a better word, loud blink.

"congrats" i replied, un pausing the game. Unfortunately, the Colonel was having none of it.

"since im not drunk, im gunna remember whats about to happen and you're gunna remember that I wasn't drunk."

I nodded, too interested to laugh at him and risk losing the subject. "okay"

"I haven't gotten action in nine weeks. now that may not seem that bad to a guy who's never been laid, but man, its like cigarettes. And i know you understand that."

"okay" i didn't want to spoil the one-sided conversation with a fully processed thought about what this was leading to.

"So…." the Colonel didn't finish his sentence. He just leaned his head in so close to mine that if i were to look at his nose my eyes would be passed crossed. And he breathed. Heavy, steady breaths that told me although he knew what was about to happen and i didn't, his heart was beating faster out of the two of us. He was looking me dead on, eyelids drooping with something other than fatigue.

He shifted, brought his hands to my face, and pressed his parted lips to mine.

This is where i want to tell you i moved away in surprise and made this a faded memory of that-one-time-the-Colonel-kissed-me-and-we-dont-ta lk-about-it, but i cannot do that without lying horribly. Because that, is no where near what it became.

Instead, I responded and he returned the favor, three fold. He held onto my face as he nursed at my mouth and i complied. I participated. I enjoyed myself.  
My arms found their way to his stocky waist as pushing thoughts of any logic away became pretty effortless. He apparently felt the same, because he took that as a signal to climb onto my lap, still attached to my mouth. He straddled my hips and moved his hands to the back of my neck, moving his head with purpose. I gotta give it to him, he is an insanely good kisser. I felt blessed to be able to have his gifted mouth treating mine. His tongue parted my lips and traced the inside edges, like a girl in a short skirt flirting her way into a nightclub. The Colonel was a hell of a miniskirt girl, but he was yet to find out what club he was bumming his way into. And i suppose, so was I. I opened my mouth and then the real fun began. he slipped his warm, slick tongue into my mouth and charmed mine. It was warm and wet and needy and let me tell you, i was basking in every second of it. I had yet to think of what was even happening outside of the fun i was having, a talent i still take pride in.

His hands slid up my shirt and covered every reachable inch of skin but my nipples. tease. as the torso rubbing continued, i ran my hands down his lower back, out of pure instinct. i needed to grab something. Something Colonel and something i couldn't own any other time. My finders spread out, palms sliding down his back, past the top of his jeans, and down to the curve of his ass. i stopped, kissed harder, and squeezed. a nice, firm, pull-you-up-closer-and-get-your-attention, claiming, grope. A palmfull of Colonels ass and i realized i had a hard-on that wasn't going soft any time soon. especially with the noise it pulled out of him.

He had barely pulled away in surprise, his brows furrowed, his mouth open, letting out the single sexiest, most erotic whimper-whine-keen-from-the-bottom-of-your-stomach noise in existence. That's what did it. hearing THAT come from him was what unintentionally, and before i could stop it, ground my hips upward. four layers. four godamned, too-thick layers. He release a low "ohh" and kissed me harder, beginning to give me a sort of a lap dance. His hips were continuously rolling down onto my hard-on like he was a wind up toy gone naughty. I groaned and hissed and made god knows what other noises as he continued his work.

He decided shirts were unnecessary as he stripped us both of them and pulled my chest to his by a strong hand on my lower back. It felt amazing, skin-on-skin. As he got back to melting me with his hips, our chests were rubbing and sliding so beautifully that it took me a second longer than it should have before i realized that he was at my belt. I felt anticipation rise up in me as it finally caught up with me what i was doing. The moment i had been pushing back had come. I was hooking up with chip, and i had to decide if i was okay with that. my heart stopped for a moment before i realized that i was still loving every second of what was happening, so my logic brain was more than okay with this, too. so by the time Chip had gotten my pants off, i was already sliding his jeans down his legs.  
Two layers is exactly two layers too many. As the Colonel settled back into his strattle, his legs spread a nice bit wider now, his erection was evident through his dark green plaid boxers. Kissing him roughly and making delicious smacking noises with it, i ran my hand lazily over his nether-regions at as many angles as possible, he groaned and squirmed. i smirked but it was lost when he took my sex out of its containment and began stroking it, flicking his thumb over the head. I gasped before being cut off by his tongue in my mouth, adding to the overwhelming pleasure.

I helped him out of his boxers and we were down to the goal: zero layers. the first thing i did was begin to stroke him, just to watch his fave contort and his pink, wet lips form an 'o'. looking at that glistening, skilled pair of lips in that shape turned me on an impossible more, and the Colonel noticed. running his hands along my sides on the way down, he kissed my virgin sex with so much passion i almost came right there. He kissed and sucked and smacked and nursed at me like i was the best flavor of candy and he got his allowance. creepy metaphor, but whatever. As he bobbed his head up and down, eyes closed in pleasure, i had to watch, but it all ended soon as to prevent the whole affair getting cut short.

He returned to his previous position, legs spread wide with everything set out for me. with no hesitation, i leaned up and grasped his large cock in one hand and his delicious, bare asscheek in the other. I kneaded and pumped in accordance to the harmonious sounds we were producing. I slid my hand down towards his entrance, pressing my finger around over it.

"christ pudge just FUCK me already!"

I snickered and plunged my index finger into that glorious, tight heat.  
"aaahhhh!" he hissed and shoved himself down on my finger. as i started moving it in and out again, he couldn't get enough. He repeatedly bucked his hips down, wanting more. Taking that as a challenge, i pushed in another finger. I scissored and curled and moved them while dealing with the Colonel grinding down on them eagerly.

He squeezed roughly on my dick and i took the hint, moving on. i slid my finger out of him and placed my hands, wide spaced fingers and flat palms, back on his ass cheeks and dug in. i curled my fingers around his flesh and hoisted hip up with all my strength onto my aching sex. without loosening my grip, i pulled him down and buried myself in the Colonel as i watched his face. His mouth hung in an 'o' like before and his eyelids fluttered. I released a strong breath from deep in my chest and he buried his face in the nape of my neck. I could feel his breath out his nose go partway down my back before being cut off by the "couch". I felt his hands travel down my ribs and settle at my hips, holding them down. I needed friction so badly that i bucked my hips up into him, and he pushed down just as urgently. before i could experience the ecstasy of moving into and back out of him by thrusting again, he was sliding up and down, pressing hard on my protruding hipbones.

"jesus chip, you really are a horny teenager" i panted out, and instead of some short remark, he just slammed himself down especially fast, making me punctuate my sentence with a shaky "ohhhhh"

the feeling of him around me in every possible way, and with the friction of moving it was getting to be too much. With him impaling himself onto me at this pace, i was gunna-  
"nnnnhhh" he grunted out his nose, before coming, heavy, sticky, and lots of it in ropes over our chests. Felling him squeeze my hipbones and hearing the noises he made as he unraveled on top of me shoved me off the edge as i came hard and intoxicating into him.  
Both dizzy from our highs, we sighed in unison and collapsed onto the mostly-foam couch.

"So hooking up is like cigarettes?" i said at the ceiling.

"Exactly." the Colonel nodded curtly.

"and how many smokes a day do we have?" i furrowed my eyebrows in mischief.

"At least two." he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I will take that euphemism to heart." i nodded now.

"Ill hold you to it, pudge. now get some clothes on your skinny ass before we have to explain this to someone."


End file.
